You know it has been ridiculously blazing hot and dry for too long when…

• When even the warm season hard-to-kill grasses are brown and the only thing growing is bindweed
• When 2″ isn’t the amount of rain you’ve had recently, but the distance between raindrops on the ground last time it rained
• When you almost need a sweater to go out in the morning because 75 is so cold
• When you don’t realize the AC in your office is malfunctioning because 80 degrees is cool
• When you examine every tomato plant in detail every day in the futile hope that one tomato might brave the heat and set
• When you can count the number of ripe tomatoes this year on one hand.
• When you get cabin fever in July, because going outside for more than 5 minutes at a time is oppressive.
• When you get excited to see a weather forecast that has 99 degrees listed as a high, even though you know that by the time that distant day arrives, it will again be 100+.
• When every field for miles is brown and crispy like it should look in October.
• When the river is only a trickle, and people are going for walks in the riverbed, rather than along the river.
• When the only place green plants are growing is IN the riverbed, on all the sandbars.
• When the answer to every plant problem that comes into the diagnostic center is…it’s been really hot…followed by either “you need to water more/more deeply” or “you’ve been overwatering.”
• When you see people watering their lawns every day and they are still brown and dormant.
• When the water coming out of the cold tap feels warm to the touch.
• When you would welcome a little Septoria leaf spot or Early Blight on the tomatoes, because at least that would mean there was some rain to spread it.
• When even cucumber, squash, and melon seeds really don’t want to germinate and grow.

Kansas, can I just say that I’m not a fan? (Because if I were, at least the air would be moving and it would be a little cooler!)